Atomic Values

In a sea of uncertainty, great leaders anchor their decisions and actions in deeply held values, striving to become better managers, partners, parents, and humans. But leadership isn’t just about outward success. The true measure of leadership is the ability to instigate lasting, meaningful change—and that change starts from within.

Recently, I spoke to an audience about this idea. I asked the room, filled with about 100 people, to stand and share their values. One participant stood up and said, “The value easiest for me to uphold is friendship, and the value hardest for me to uphold is compassion.”

He was thinking outwardly, focusing on compassion toward others, as many of us do. In a room full of people, he was reflecting on how his values shaped his interactions with the world. But when we think about our values—boiled down to their true, atomic meaning—leadership requires us to look inward first.

I asked him, “Do you show yourself compassion?” The room fell silent. After a pause, he bravely admitted, “Not enough.”

This moment was powerful because it revealed something essential: we often think of our values as tools for navigating the world around us. We focus on how our values influence our relationships with others. But true leadership, the kind that creates enduring change, begins with living those values for ourselves. How can we lead with compassion if we don’t first extend it inward?

We are our own harshest critics. Thoughts like, "I’m not good enough," "I’m not smart enough," or "I’m not talented enough," often take over.

When we learn to apply our values inwardly, those critical voices quiet down. Knowing and living our values can bring us fulfillment and a greater sense of purpose.

Only you can define your values. But once you do, they can guide you toward what’s most important—both in your leadership and your life. This clarity helps you lead stronger teams, make better decisions, and, ultimately, live more fully.

So, what are your values? Which ones are hardest to uphold? And most importantly—are you living them for yourself?